Whatever he could do.

Sean was as good as his word and arrived at Viggo’s beach house in L.A. early the next morning.  For someone who disliked flying and had a sincere distrust of tin cans with wings and engines he sure spent a lot of time doing it - particularly for his friends.

But then again Viggo was special - very special.

'Ok, come on.  Pack it up, Bean, that line of thought is off limits and you know it - nothing good will come of dwelling on just how special Veeg is, and anyway, you've said it a thousand times. He and Orlando were meant to be together. Viggo needs his solid, reliable, best mate now, not a mooning teenage-like mess incapable of any form of practicality.'

Sean had used his spare key to enter the house.  Viggo had given it to him ages ago and although he had thought it odd at the time, he was glad of it now. At some stage during the night Viggo must have needed the bathroom because that was where Sean found him, slumped on the floor against the bath clutching one of Orlando’s t-shirts that had escaped the packing, due to being in the washing hamper.  He was still crying quietly, hugging the shirt like a comfort blanket. A sobbing wet heap of abject misery that twisted Sean’s guts in sympathy

Dropping to his knees Sean just took the other man in his arms and began rocking him gently, saying nothing, just offering his physical support. Viggo leaned into him accepting the solid strength but unable to do anything but cry and so, Sean simply held on.  They must have moved at some point because Sean ended up sitting with Viggo’s head on his lap just stroking and holding him, trying to sooth a hurt that he knew would not be soothed for a long time. Sean’s shirt and trousers were soaked with Viggo’s tears. Each time Sean thought he had calmed a little something in his obviously tumultuous thoughts seemed to trigger a fresh storm of weeping, but the human body can only take so much and finally hours later Viggo pushed himself up.

“Easy mate,” Sean said, keeping his arms around a still shaky Viggo.

“I need to ...”

“Ok mate let me help you up.”  Sean knew what Viggo needed to do.  So he gently lifted him to his feet and just held him while Viggo did the necessary.

Let’s get you somewhere more comfortable shall we?”  He took an unresisting Viggo by the hand and led him into the spare room. Common sense told Sean that the last thing Viggo would want to do right now was to face the bed he had shared with Orlando.  In many ways this was almost like bereavement for Viggo and Sean knew that all he could do was just be there and let Viggo take things at his own pace.  He pushed Viggo onto the bed and covered him with a light blanket. It was already getting dark; most of the day had gone. Ever practical Sean knew that if nothing else they both needed some fluids so he headed for the door to go make some tea.

“Sean.”  Such a small voice

Sean turned at the door, Viggo was gazing at him with such a lost look on his face; one hand thrown out towards him.

As usual, Sean knew exactly what Viggo meant he crossed back to the bed and sat down, taking the outstretched hand in his own and cuddling it close.

“It’s ok, luv. I’m not going far. You need to drink something at least so I was going to make you some of that disgusting tea you drink.  I’ll be back in a few minutes.  Honest.”

It seemed to be enough, as Viggo nodded.

“Ok,” he whispered.

Sean brushed his lips over the back of Viggo’s hand then got up and headed downstairs. Viggo hadn’t changed his kitchen around any since the last time Sean had visited, so it wasn’t hard to locate the stuff for the tea and he was soon heading back up the stairs with a tray of tea and a jug of lemonade for later too.

Viggo had curled himself into a tight ball under the sheets, eyes unfocused, staring straight ahead. Sean put the tray down on the bedside table and coaxed Viggo to sit up so he could hand him the mug of tea, wrapping the still shaking hands around the mug.

Viggo lay back down once the tea was gone. Sean stroked his hair.

“Try and get some sleep luv “

He turned to gather the tea things and take them down the stairs.

“Sean.”  That small voice again. Viggo was looking at him, his blue eyes reflecting all the agony he was in.

“Yes luv?” Sean sat back down on the bed.

“Stay…Please”

Sean lay on the bed and once again pulled Viggo into his arms.

They lay in silence for a long time. Viggo with his head pillowed on Sean’s shoulder. Sean stroked his hair with one hand and held Viggo’s hand with the other. Viggo cried a little again, short bursts of sobbing that kind of came and went.  Finally after one of these little outbursts that small voice spoke.

“He’s gone Sean. My Angel’s gone.”

Sean’s guts twisted again. Even he had thought that Viggo and Orlando really were forever.

“I know luv …….. I know.”

“He said he’d get the rest of his stuff later. I know why he had to do it Sean but ……….. oh God it just hurts so bad.  I mean I suppose it’s the right thing for his career and I suppose I always knew it would probably end like this, but I dreamed Sean………I dreamed it might work out and that we really were forever. Guess I was just being a stupid old man, eh? Allowing myself to dream that someone that beautiful, that talented, that someone like my Angel would ever really stay…want to stay.  Stupid, air brained, artistic Viggo always trying to find the happy ending, eh?” The hollow laugh turned into a choking sob.

Sean was appalled at Viggo’s words.  He wanted to shake him for being a prat, but that was hardly appropriate right now.

Instead he tightened his grip on the hand he held and said

“Hey come on you were never stupid to dream. Never. Don’t say that Viggo.  And it’s not stupid to try and find the happy ending either.  We all thought you and Orlando would make it. I still don’t understand really why he’s done this but one thing I do know is that it isn’t through any fault of yours, Veeg.  All you ever did was love and support him.  Everyone saw that.  Maybe this is what has to happen. I don’t know - but I do know that you should never feel stupid for having dreams and for trying to make them a reality.  You made that dream of you and Orlando a reality for five years, Vig, a lot of it against all the odds and I know you don’t regret it and whether he said so or not, I know Orlando doesn’t regret it either."

“I know Sean.  I don’t regret it and I don’t think he does either, but I don’t understand what changed.  He never really explained why. Why now after all this time. Mind you, I suppose I didn’t really give him a chance.  Once he began to tell me that it was over I kinda panicked and shut him up and ran away into the studio while he packed a couple of bags.  I knew if I let him go on I’d start begging and that would either make it so much harder for both of us or he’d have given in and then we’d have to go through all of this again in a few weeks time, when he realised that he’d made a mistake.  Seemed best to just let him go and leave it …not overlay all the good memories with one final really bad one.”

Sean didn’t really know what to say. All their hopes had been high for Viggo and Orlando. They had both seemed so in love, so solid, so determined to make it work that part of him was having difficulty believing that he was here doing this now - trying to comfort Viggo because Orlando had broken his heart.

“But I think perhaps that was the right thing to do, Vig.  You remember that night.  The one in New Zealand when we talked about …. about this.  You said then about the end being his decision and how you hoped that you would have the guts to lay it to rest with dignity and respect for both of you. Well it sounds like you did that, Vig - you let him go without a scene and without anymore guilt than he probably felt already…. you set him free with your love and wishes for his happiness…. the way only you could have, I think."  Sean trailed off, his own thoughts wandering to a night now almost five years ago.

Flashback

The party had about wound down and Sean was helping Viggo, who didn’t often have parties to clean up after. There wasn’t much mess.  The hobbits were untidy little buggers in their own backyards but surprisingly good about tidying up after themselves when round at their friends' houses. Orlando, who had stayed sober all night, was driving his friends to their respective homes. Eventually it was just Sean and Viggo. Viggo had made some tea and they had sat on the sofa in comfortable silence. Then Viggo had spoken softly and almost shyly. 

“I’m gonna get my heart broken aren’t I,” he had said.

Sean had sighed and struggled with his response a little.  “I guess it’s a possibility, yeah,” he had said finally.

“I don’t suppose he will stay around with me once he’s a star - wont be good for his career.”

“You could always end it first, I suppose.”

“No, I could never do that.  I’ve been there often enough to know that this is the real thing for me.  If this ends it will be Orlando that finishes it not me.  I just hope I don’t make it harder for him if it comes to it. I hope I can let him go with dignity and respect on both sides.  No stupid dramatic scenes and so on.  Set him free with my love and my blessing.  I want him to be happy, Sean. Always, even if that means him not being with me.”

Sean had found himself nodding in response.  Somehow he knew that what Viggo said was the absolute truth. Viggo and Orlando were soul mates - even he could see that.  The question was, having met Viggo so early in his young life, would - or could Orlando see it to?. It was then that Sean had surprisingly heard himself making his offer. An offer he profoundly hoped Viggo would never have to take up.

“If, and I mean 'If' he ever does and you need someone, you know you can call me anytime, anywhere, no matter what I’m doing I’ll drop it and come to you. Don’t forget, mate.”

Viggo had smiled shyly.  “Thank,s I think that’s what I was about to ask you, but I would have taken a longer route to get there.”

They had grinned at each other then. “Yer a daft bugger sometimes you know that?” Sean had said laughing and lightening the rather sombre mood.

Viggo had laughed too. “Must be the company I keep.”

“Oi you watch it”

Orlando’s return had interrupted the mock wrestling match that had followed.

End flashback

That had been years and many layers of friendship ago and as those years had passed Sean, like everyone else, had gotten so used to Viggo and Orlando as a pair that he had never really expected to have to make good on his offer.  Never expected to be here, now, like this.

Suddenly he heard Viggo’s quiet voice again.

“He said he would be round later for his things sometime…I don’t want to be here when he gets them Sean …I don’t want to be here then.  I’d rather just come back knowing that they’d be gone.  I can’t face seeing him packing his things away, Sean ……… I can’t….I can't."

Viggo’s voice was rising almost hysterically.  Sean was a little worried; Viggo was not a hysterical sort of person.

“Shh.  Hush luv.”  He cuddled the older man even closer.

“You don’t have to be here, luv. We can make sure that you’re not”

He felt rather than saw Viggo’s nod and it was as if the statement and its confirmation made all the random thoughts in his mind coalesce into an idea that had kinda been swishing around in his brain, in a vague way for a while now.

“Come to England with me, Vig … come to England and let me take care of you for a while.”

Sean held his breath wondering if he had just made a huge mistake. Maybe leaving LA wasn’t on Viggo’s agenda at all, and there was always Henry to consider. But then Viggo spoke again, little more than a whisper but Sean heard.

“Yeah. Thanks Sean”

(TBC)