Nightmares, Dreams and Afternoon Naps

//Sean knew that he was panicking. His heart rate thumping like a rock drummers bass in his chest confirmed it.  He could hear his own ragged and uneven breathing.  Why would no one listen to him? He was absolutely sure that something was wrong.  Absolutely, totally and utterly convinced that something was very, very wrong.  Everyone he called including Ian told him he was being a fool and that Vig and Orlando were just enjoying their well earned holiday but Sean just knew that this was not the case.  For all his absent minded artist stance Vig was actually very together, particularly as regards safety when he was off in the wilds and checking in with Sean was one of his ways of ensuring that safety.  He sat down at the big oak desk in his study and forced himself to try and calm down. Carefully he went over again in his mind all that Vig had told him of where he and Orlando were going and what they were intending to do. Then he went over the list of folks he had called to ask if they had heard from Viggo.  There was no one else left to call.

It was then that Sean made his decision. He was going to go look for them himself.  If he was wrong then he would look a bit of a fool, but for some reason Sean was sure this wasn’t the case.  And anyway looking a fool would be nothing new to Sean Bean. He really didn’t care what any one thought, he was going, so that was that.

Yorkshire folk were basically Celts and Sean knew all about being fey and having the second sight from his Gran.  He didn’t understand it at all really, hadn’t listened that intently. He knew it was unusual in men and that he had never felt anything like this before but this feeling was now far too strong to ignore.  It was tearing away at his very being.  He had to act.  Had to DO something.

He ran upstairs forcing himself to keep calm and quickly packed a rugged looking rucksack. Changed into sturdy outdoor clothes and once downstairs again, collected maps and compasses etc and the rest of his seldom used outdoor gear.  He also collected all his notes on Viggo’s itinerary and made sure he had all the necessary phone numbers. He called his eldest daughter to let her know what he was doing. Mel would think he was insane but Lorna had his determination so he knew that if she didn’t hear anything she would pester until someone took notice of her. Then he heaved the gear into the Landrover and headed out of London.  Pushing the speed as high as he dared as soon as he hit the M1. Trying to keep calm was becoming increasingly difficult.  The panic was increasing. His insides were churning and he felt vaguely sick. Derbyshire was a good two and half hours away and Sean couldn’t help feeling that every second might count… //

The man on the bed was thrashing around and moaning the only coherent sound that could be heard was the muttering over and over of two names.

“Viggo...Orlando!”

The moonlight caught the vicious looking scar that ran diagonally all the way down and across the glistening sweat covered back. Gradually revealing more of it as the twisted sheets were pushed further and further down the bed.  The figure rolled and twisted, moving as if in a frenzy from one side of the bed right across to the other. Fingers curling into fists, twisting in the base sheet and pulling that out too. Eventually the arms began to flail and with a scream the man sat up suddenly coming fully awake and alert.

Sean tried to get a hold of his breathing. Tried to calm himself. His whole body was shaking, wet with sweat and tears.

‘Deep breaths Sean.  Come on you can do it.  It was only a dream.  Well, not only a dream, THE dream but still a dream. Come on Bean ‘big boys don’t cry’. But Sean couldn’t do it, the tears fell again in hot rushing waves. Breathing that had been ragged before now turned into anguished sobbing. ‘Stop this you prat.  They’re fine you know they are. You were with them just last night and they were fine and happy and glowing, you know that.  You saw it. You’ve seen it all, been there through it all, helped them to get through it all.’ It took a few minutes but finally Sean had a measure of control. Sighing he swung his legs over the side of the bed. ‘Oh well no more sleep for you tonight Bean good job you didn’t arrange anything for tomorrow.’  Sean made his way a little unsteadily to the kitchen to make some tea.  ‘Looks like a night sitting on the deck watching the ocean then.’

A few miles across Wellington.

Orlando drew his warm wet tongue slowly and delicately along the vein on the underside of Viggo’s cock.  Viggo moaned deep in the back of his throat.

“Angel quit with the teasing, please!”

Orlando heard the plea in Viggo‘s voice. His own erection was painfully hard against his belly but he had wanted to pleasure Viggo for as long as he could before taking him into his body.  This was the third time they had made love this night.  Both of them were aroused and needy as a result of their earlier conversation about Sean and it had taken more than usual to sate their desire for each other and if they were honest, their desire for their friend.

The younger man released his lovers cock from between his lips and allowed their positions to be switched. 

“I’m ready Vig.” He said when Viggo slid two lubed fingers gently into his opening to prepare him.  “I just want you inside me please.”

Viggo stroked the damp hair back from Orlando’s face.

“Ok Angel” he whispered “You got me.”  And with that he slid his hard length deep into Orlando’s warm wet willing body.

The two locked eyes with each other. A wicked gleam stirred in the depths of Viggo’s blue-grey pools as he held still for a minute.

“Would you like to feel Sean doing this to you?” Viggo rasped dropping his voice to a pitch he knew always drove his Angel wild.

“Oh Vig! God yes … yes … ooohhhh yes.”

Orlando began to push himself further onto Viggo‘s cock.

Viggo grinned wolfishly refusing to move inside the writhing young man.  He continued in the same voice.

“You want to feel him this deep inside your body.  Filling you, completing you, driving you wild.  All that pale, honey blonde loveliness buried deep inside your tight wet heat.”

Orlando’s movements became more frenzied.

“Viggo!” he moaned “Please!  For fuck’s sake!”

If possible Viggo’s grin got even wider, even more feral.

“Feel Sean waiting like this.  Watching you moan and writhe and screw yourself on his cock.”

“Aaargh!”  Orlando was almost out of control.

“Before finally Sean starts… “

And Viggo pulled out to the head and then slammed his cock hard and deep into Orlando hitting over his prostate and making him scream.

“To fuck you hard. Hard and deep.”

Viggo began to move in earnest.  Slamming himself into the young body hard and fast. Orlando was screaming almost continuously. Viggo was hitting his sweet spot with every thrust over and over.  Powering into him so deeply he felt like he was being impaled, right up to his throat.

Orlando’s cock was a throbbing rod of steel, weeping with need, making a small pool on his belly.  After a few more powerful thrusts Viggo grasped hold of it in his large rough hand and began to stroke in time with his movements.

It didn’t take long.

Orlando let out a piercing long wail as he came that kinda sounded like Sean’s name and seconds later Viggo followed him over the edge.  His mind full of similar images to those he had painted for his young lover.

Viggo collapsed along side Orli, pulling him close and smiling as the youngster tried to get control of his faculties.

“Wow Vig that was wonderful. Thank-you!”  Orlando said when he finally managed to get control of his breathing.

“You’re welcome.”  Suddenly Viggo couldn’t help but remember the last person who had uttered those words to him tonight.  “Think you can go to sleep now, Angel?”

“Hmmmmmmmm”

Orlando’s head went heavy on Viggo’s chest and his breathing lengthened and flattened. He was already asleep.  It didn’t take Viggo long to join him.

A few miles across Wellington a handsome man sat in a rocking chair on the deck of his house and watched the ocean. Trying without success to stop the tears that still fell from his beautiful green eyes.

Viggo made Orlando wait till what he called a reasonable hour before they called Sean, the following morning. Orlando had woken happy refreshed and chirpy at seven and been like a ‘cat on a hot tin roof’ ever since.  He had tried everything, puppy dog eyes, pouty lips and cutie pie Orli all of which were usually irresistible to Viggo but today Viggo had been determined.

“Want Seanie.” Orlando had pouted over breakfast juice.

“In a while, Pet.”

“Want Seanie now!”

“Me too Angel but not till after breakfast.” Viggo nearly spoilt his calm pose by giggling out loud.

If ever there was an Oscar for cuteness Orlando Bloom had it in the bag on days like this.

Orlando worked his way through cereal and fruit gazing beseechingly at Viggo through dark lashes with every mouthful.

“Can have Seanie now?” He said as soon as the last mouthful was finished.

That did it Viggo fell about laughing almost spraying Orlando with half chewed breakfast in his mirth. He was rewarded with one of Orlando’s brilliant smiles.

“Sorry Vig.  It’s all your fault for describing him as a teddy bear last night.  Now all I can think of doing is cuddling him.”

“Really?”  Viggo’s eyebrows climbed towards his hair line. “Cuddling is really all you can think of doing with him?”

Orlando growled. “You know that’s not true Vig but I am conscious of what you said about not scaring him. I really will try not to push things at all you know.  I love him Vig so I want him to have what makes him happy and I realise that might not necessarily be exactly what we want to do with him but I’ll go with his wishes totally.”

Viggo’s gaze softened Orlando really was an extraordinarily wonderful young man. It was amazing after all they had been through, the guy really didn’t have a selfish bone in his body.

“I love you Orlando Bloom.”

“I love you too Viggo Mortensen.”

Both men were silent for a long moment.

“We love you too Sean Bean.” Orlando whispered.  His eyes getting a far away look.

“Yeah we do.”  Viggo couldn’t help his agreement.

They sat, lost in thought for a while.

“But I do hope he wants to be with us like that.”  Orlando said a cheeky grin back on his face.

“Me too Angel, me too.”

“Want Seanie!”

Viggo groaned he knew it was too good to last.

“Not till we’ve done the dishes and made the bed.” Stern Viggo.

“Awwww.  Not fair.”  Orlando stuck a pretty pink tongue out at Viggo and the whole thing started up again.

Viggo had finally given in to this extraordinary performance at about 10.30 when they at last picked up the phone. Viggo on the main line and Orlando on the extension, in case extra ‘persuasion’ were needed.

“Hi Sean its Viggo.”

“Morning Vig!  Everything ok?” Just a slight edge to Sean’s voice.  Automatic concern born out of the months of worry.

But now, Viggo was concerned.  Sean sounded tired, drained really, although Viggo was sure he was trying very hard to cover it.

“Everything’s fine Sean we just wondered if you were doing anything today?”

“Not really I was just gonna potter around here, have a lazy day sort of thing.”

“Fancy having a lazy day over here with us?  We’ve got decent beer and I made a rice salad ready for lunch and some of that lemon chicken you like.”

Both Viggo and Orlando held their breath.  Willing Sean to agree to come over.

“Why not?” Sean laughed. You know I love your lemon chicken Vig.”

It would be torture of the most exquisite kind but how could Sean pass up the chance to be with them.  Just to spend a little more time basking in the warmth that was them.  He just wished he didn’t feel so damn tired and more to the point hoped he could hide his rather delicate state from his two friends.

Orlando was bouncing with glee

“Cool!”  Viggo couldn’t keep the smile out of his voice.

“I’ll see you in about an hour Vig.”

Orlando just managed to hang on till Viggo had shut off his phone before letting out a squeal of delight.

“He said he’s coming.  He’s coming Vig.”

Laughing, he swung himself into Viggo’s arms.

Sean arrived more or less when he said he would and Viggo watched with secret delight, when Orli did exactly what he had asked of him and flipped into the sweetest Orli-bear mode he had ever seen.  It was truly lovely to watch. Orlando didn’t crowd the older Brit but he kept the touches frequent and gentle and Viggo watched as Sean gradually became more and more relaxed.

They had lunch outside in the yard.  Chicken, rice salad and beer. The conversation flowed freely and easily.  But Viggo was worried.  There was no other way to put it. Sean looked dreadful.  His skin was pallid beneath his light tan, there were dark circles under his eyes and every so often both Viggo and Orlando noticed that there was a small but noticeable tremor in his hands. There it was again when Sean went to put his plate back on the table.  Viggo shared a concerned glance with his young lover when Sean turned away to sit down.

A good lunch and a couple of beers had their effect on Sean and Viggo and Orlando both noticed him trying to stifle a couple of yawns.  It was then that Viggo had an idea he thought might at least help a little.  He decided to offer their room if Sean needed to sleep.

“Hey, why don’t you grab a nap in our room Sean? – you’re obviously tired. Must be the jet lag still or something.”  Viggo was trying to keep it light.  Not show how concerned he really was.

Sean covered his surprise at Viggo’s words as best he could. He thought he had been covering his tiredness and how bad he felt quite well.  He should have known that he couldn’t really hide anything from this pair.  They knew him too well, just as he knew them. But thinking about it he’d had a few beers, was nice and relaxed maybe just maybe Viggo’s suggestion might just work. Sean decided it was worth a try, anything was worth a try considering how he felt.

“Yeah, if you’re sure it’s all right I might just take you up on that offer thanks.”

Viggo and Orlando both showed him through to their room and once Sean had removed his shoes and settled on their bed they left their friend to take his nap.

Orlando drew breath to speak as soon as they pulled the door closed but Viggo put a finger to his lips and hushed him until they were safely in the kitchen.

“I know Angel, I know.”  He said once the door was closed and before Orlando could voice his concerns.

“He looks ill Vig. Why didn’t we notice?”

“Because normally he is very, very good at covering up how he feels, but I think today we took him by surprise so his defences weren’t quite as ready and good.”

“I feel bad Vig, really bad. We should have noticed.  We were so wrapped up in each other last night we didn’t notice how he looked.”

“Like I said we weren’t intended to notice.  Come to think about it he’s been doing a brilliant job of making sure we haven’t noticed how he looks for the last few months.”

Orlando went and put his arms round Viggo, snuggling close.

“Do you think it’s just tiredness Vig?”

“I don’t know and even if it is just tiredness why isn’t he sleeping?  What is causing him to be this tired?”

“Hmmm. I’m worried now Viggo.”

“Me too Angel. Me too.”

“Can we take care of him?”

“If he’ll let us, that’s what I’d like to do.”

“Want to look after him Vig.”  This might sound like child-like Orlando, but Viggo knew he was deadly serious.

“So do I.  The question is; will he let us.  You know how fiercely independent he is, and what a thing he has about being all Yorkshire manly like.”

Orlando chuckled a bit at Viggo’s appalling Yorkshire accent but he nodded his understanding at what Viggo had said.  Sean’s culture and background did not lend itself to accepting help easily. Where Sean came from men were men and called a spade a shovel and they didn’t cry or need help and heaven forbid that a man acknowledge that he might just have emotions was well … the very idea was beyond the pale.  Strange that Sean could produce some of the most emotion filled performances anyone had ever seen when it was called for.

“Lets go check on him shall we make sure he has actually gone off to sleep.”

“Yeah, ok Vig.”

Orlando followed Viggo out of the room.  They were half way to the bedroom when they heard the moaning. Sharing a horrified look, both men quickened their pace to the bedroom door. Their faces registering their concern at what they saw, when they opened the door.

Sean was thrashing around on the bed rolling from side to side.  Fisting the sheets one second flailing his arms the next. The moans becoming louder and more like frantic wails. There were tears pouring down Sean’s face even though he was obviously still asleep.

Without pausing Viggo went to one side of the bed and Orlando the other. Carefully they took hold of their friend and stilled the frenzied movement.  They each climbed on the bed with him and settled him in between them using their bodies to try and soothe and calm and keep him still. Sean woke suddenly, eyes wide and panic stricken and tried desperately to pull away but two pairs of strong arms pulled him back down on to the bed between them.

“Shh it’s ok Sean. It’s ok. We’re here.  Calm down.  Lie back. We’ve got you. It’s ok now. It’s ok.”  Viggo whispered the soothing nonsense as gently as he could. Smoothing the sweat dampened hair back from Sean’s pale and worried face.

To his surprise Sean let him and settled back down between his two friends.  Viggo and Orlando both knew that this was exhaustion maybe more than acceptance, but all they wanted for the moment was for Sean to accept their help.

As Sean stilled Viggo began to rub soothing circles on his belly and Orlando mirrored the movement on his chest. It was something they remembered the therapists doing from their own long haul of mental and physical recovery. In fact, it was something that Sean had done for both of them any number of times and they both knew that sometimes, it really helped. Viggo prayed that this was one of those times and someone answered his prayers.  Sean’s tortured sobs began to ease and gradually they felt him relax under their hands. Turmoil ridden green eyes regained some of their gentleness and gradually closed.  His breathing steadied and as Orlando and Viggo each took one of his hands in theirs they heard him whisper.

“Thanks” and sigh before falling into sleep.

Neither Viggo nor Orlando moved for the next four hours. Quietly they kept a careful vigil over their friend.  Occasionally they couldn’t resist gently brushing their lips over the sweat dampened brow or the soft, blond, baby fine hair. But Sean was asleep, quiet and calm snuggled between them where they could show him they loved him even if he didn’t exactly know they were doing it.

When Sean awoke between them four hours later, he realised it was the first time for months he had slept without the ever recurring nightmare and the first time for months he hadn’t woken in tears. In fact Sean awoke in the late afternoon feeling better than he had for days. Not right but definitely better…

(TBC)