Memories good and Bad

The New Zealand night was soft and quiet, the dark velvety sky clear and littered with hundreds of stars, the only sounds those made by the night creatures and the gentle waves.

A devastatingly handsome blonde man relaxed in an old rocking chair on the wooden deck of his rented house and smiled out at the ocean.

Sean was blissfully happy. Happier than he had been for months, lost in wonderful memories of a day full of love and loving.

He felt happily and thoroughly fucked more sated than he could ever remember being before. Viggo and Orlando were wonderful lovers, kind, gentle, tender and giving yet powerful and energetic too. Loving and being, loved by them had been a complete revelation.

Sean let his memories run unchecked and uncensored.  He let his mind drift further back to that amazing moment when he had actually asked Viggo to fuck him.

//”Are you sure, Sean love, we don’t have to do this straight away?”

“I’m sure Vig, please; I need to feel you in me. Please!”

“Ok lovey. Lie back against Orlando.  It’s easier for you if you turn over but I guess you want to see faces love don’t you?”

Sean smiled shyly. “Yeah please … if that’s ok?”

“Course it is love, like I said whatever you want Sean, this is about you.”

“Us. Please, us.”

Viggo wanted to weep at the look on Sean’s face and he could see the tears gathering in Orlando’s eyes.  They held each others hands and each took one of Sean’s, squeezing gently.

“Yeah, us.”

Sean’s face relaxed and calmed at Viggo’s words. Once more, Viggo was struck that this was significant in some way and filed the moment away for future examination, even in the midst of passion like this.

Without needing to be asked Orlando took a spare pillow and eased it under Sean’s hips, then settled the older man back against himself.

Viggo parted Sean’s legs and bent his knees and then coated his fingers liberally with the lube. This was Sean’s first time and Viggo was determined to make it as good as he possibly could.

“You need to relax, Sean and even if you are, I can’t stop this hurting at first.”

“Trust you Vig, its ok.”

Sean was relaxed, more relaxed than he had been for ages and he welcomed the first of Viggo’s gentle slick fingers. Orlando was nibbling on his ear and stroking soothing circles around his shoulders, keeping him mildly distracted.

Viggo took his time, carefully stroking in and out, feeling Sean gradually accept him more easily. Once he was confident it would be ok, he added a second finger, gently scissoring them to relax the guardian muscle even more and also going on a quest to find Sean’s prostate.  It didn’t take long to achieve his goal.  Viggo’s fingers brushed over the tiny sensitive bundle and …

“Bloodyfuckinghell!! Veeeeeeeg!”

Viggo and Orlando both grinned.

Orlando was busy nuzzling Sean’s neck now and Sean could feel the loving little giggle at his reaction to whatever Vig was doing.

“Nice?”

“Don’t ask daft questions Vig. You know exactly how nice, yer bugger.”

Viggo’s shit eating grin got wider and he added a third finger as Orlando reached down and gave a couple of long, slow pulls on Sean’s now fully erect cock. Sean groaned deep in his throat and began to push himself back against Viggo’s fingers.

“Do you think you might be ready for me love?”

“Do it Vig!  Please!”

Recognising the need Viggo withdrew his fingers and knelt up to rest the tip of his cock against Sean’s entrance.  He drew Sean legs around him and rested them comfortably.

Orlando captured Sean’s lips in a deep and passionate kiss and began more of those long slow ministrations to his cock as Viggo pushed into Sean as gently as he could.

Viggo felt Sean’s muscle’s tighten round him and stilled immediately.

“You ok love?”

Orlando broke the kiss as soon as he heard the question.

Sean’s eyes were squeezed shut and tiny tears were leaking out of the corners but he nodded.

“Go on Vig, just go on!”

Viggo waited a little longer till he felt Sean’s body adjust and then as slowly as he could, sheathed himself fully inside Sean. And waited.

Sean was incredibly tight and it took all Viggo’s will power not to move, but there was no way he would risk anything till he knew Sean was ready and wanted it.

Suddenly Viggo felt Sean flex his hips.

“Move Vig, please I need you to move.”

Viggo started to move. Long slow powerful thrusts each one stroking over Sean’s prostate.

Sean groaned with each thrust and pushed back against Viggo, meeting him with each stroke. Orlando smiled as he continued kissing any parts of Sean he could reach and matched the rhythm of his hand on Sean’s cock with the rhythm of Viggo’s thrusts.  This was what he had hoped they could do. Pleasure Sean this way. Give something back to the man who had given them so much, their lives, each other.  Loving Sean was an amazing experience for both of them.

Sean caught Viggo’s sapphire blue eyes with his emerald green and gazed deeply and lovingly at the man who was bringing him so much comfort and so much pleasure. Viggo almost lost his rhythm he was so overwhelmed by what he saw. 

Sean felt complete filled whole, Viggo completed him, and Orlando completed him. Finally he felt wanted, needed, and loved, a whole being at last.  He felt as if this was where he should always have been, as if this was his home, not a building in a place somewhere but wherever he could be with these two wonderful men.

Orlando had not been able to stop the tears. Tears of happiness and love ran down over his cheeks.  Despite his gaze seemingly being fixed on Viggo, Sean raised a hand and gently brushed the tears away. He reached round and pulled Orlando in for another deep, loving kiss and then did the same with Viggo.

This time when he broke the kiss, moaning almost constantly now, he pushed back harder against Viggo’s thrusts encouraging him to increase the speed and rhythm and bring them all to completion. Somehow, Sean had managed to reach round Orlando and grasp his straining erection and as Viggo began to let go of his iron willed control the three all began to move, almost in unison towards an earth shattering climax.

“Come on Vig, let it go. Give me all you’ve got, my love.”  Sean growled.

That did it. With a roar Viggo began to seriously pound into Sean.  Driven by Viggo’s now dramatically increased rhythm, to a moment of increasing speed, power and passion they somehow all came together. For the first time ever Sean felt the heat of a lover’s release deep inside himself, warming, cleansing, marking him as belonging to these two men he loved so, so dearly.  Orlando came hot over his hand and he could feel his own warm essence spilling in waves between him and Viggo.  They came crying out each other’s names as they flew on the powerful wings of love and passion and landed in a loving, sweaty heap on top of each other, breathless and blissful.

All three men took time to recover.  But eventually Viggo and Orlando had settled Sean between them and all three had drifted gently off to sleep.//

Sean’s smile had gotten gradually deeper and broader as he remembered more and more of the events of the afternoon. It had been truly magical for the Englishman and he settled even more comfortably in the chair knowing that in a few hours, the two men in his life would be back with him and he could go to sleep tonight knowing they would be there in the morning, when he woke up.

‘But they weren’t here now.  Now Sean was alone as usual.  Always alone. Always on the outside looking in.  Never really a part of anything.  Alone because he had to be. Alone because he deserved to be.    Alone because he was dangerous man. Alone because he was a killer. He should be locked up alone. Locked away from others for the rest of his life.  Kept away from good men like Vig and Orli.  He didn’t deserve to be around them.  What if he hurt them? He only deserved the darkness of his own thoughts and company.  He deserved to be alone.  How could he possibly believe that two men as good and as gentle and pure as Viggo and Orlando could really actually want him.  What did he have to offer?  Even casting directors saw what he was … they always cast him as villains didn’t they …weak men easily tempted by money, or power, or lust, or revenge. Even Boromir was no better than the usual nasties that he played, in spite of everything.  No Sean Bean, alone is as good as it gets for you.  You deserve the loneliness and the darkness, all of it.  You’re a killer, Bean.  Why should any one? How could anyone, love you?  You could have found another way; there must have been another way. You didn’t have to kill…..

Didn’t have to kill…

Didn’t have to kill…’

Sean was gasping for breath. His fists had clenched into tight balls again, nails digging into his palms. Head and upper body thrashing from side to side.

‘God please no.’ He thought.  ‘Not again, not now, not after his wonderful day. Please no!!  Please.’

Sean crashed from the chair to the deck moaning and whimpering.  Curling into a foetal ball one minute, stretching and arching almost painfully the next.  Hands pounding on the wooden decking or on himself …

//Running, running, running, he had to keep running. Had to get to Viggo. Had to reach Viggo before the other one did. He dragged the injured leg along as fast as he could.  He thought the ankle was broken.  The crack from the other ones baton blow had sounded ominous but he couldn’t think about that now he had to keep running. Forget the pain. Just keep running. Eyes darting everywhere, looking for signs. Yes, there was another on that tree. He followed it, was pretty sure it was the twelfth, which meant the next one should be…  Yes there he was he could see him … Viggo tied to that tree.  Oh Christ what had they done to him?!!  A noise from the other side of the little clearing … he tried to speed up … reached Viggo just as something hit him hard from behind and knocked him to the floor.

“You’re gonna have to fight for him anyway.”

‘Bastards! They’d said all he had to do was reach Viggo first and Vig would be ok.  Oh well no time to think, just fight the bastard. If that’s what it took to keep Viggo alive, then so be it. He rolled away from the other body and came up breathing hard.  Someone threw a knife at this feet and he saw that the other already had his in his hand. He bent and picked it up and started circling. Same as before Bean, keep moving and don’t let him blind side you.  Don’t think, just react.  Let him come to you.  No wide rushed swings; no dramatic flourishes, just keep it mean and dirty. Just like you, mean and dirty. That’s it, let him over do it like that. Keep low, keep moving and ……  Hot blood over his hand … not his, but not Viggo’s either.  He spat blood from his own mouth and crawled over to where Viggo was hanging from the tree … and rested his head on Viggo’s feet…..//

Viggo and Orlando mingled with the other guests and cast members.  It was a small select gathering and they had promised to attend, to help PJ out, ages ago. Neither had wanted to really leave Sean, but they had promised and Sean had reassured them that he would be fine. They had let him go home and promised him that they would go straight to his house, as soon as the little soiree was over.  Their overnight bags were packed and in the car ready.

Viggo was chatting with some of the Wellington VIPs when he suddenly saw all the colour drain from Orlando’s face.  His own throat suddenly went dry and tight and his heart started to pound erratically in his chest. Both he and Orlando immediately began excusing themselves from the conversations they were having and making their way to each other across the crowded room.  Noticing the movement and looking up PJ could see the fear and worry in both their faces.  He too excused himself, wondering what on earth could be wrong, and met them as they reached one another, a question ready on his lips, but he never asked it. He didn’t need to. The two men met in the centre of the room, looked at each other and said one word … one name, exactly in unison.

“Sean!”

Peter didn’t know exactly what was going on, but the two faces he was looking at said they would tolerate no argument.  They were leaving and they were leaving now.  Peter assured his two friends that he would make their excuses and as soon as Viggo and Orlando got outside they started running to the car.

“You drive Vig please.”

Viggo didn’t object. He opened the driver’s door and had the engine started as Orlando shut the passenger door and buckled his seat belt.

Viggo drove like a mad man.

Orlando’s hands were shaking and his eyes were wide with fear.

“We shouldn’t have left him Vig.”  He said in a small voice.

“Agreed.”  Viggo growled in response.

Fortunately the traffic was very light.  Streets and streetlamps whizzed by. Viggo had to fight to keep calm driving the car, but eventually they reached Sean’s little house.

They were both out of the car and running again in seconds. 

“Round the back on the deck.”  Orlando almost shouted in panic.

Viggo wrenched the gate open, fear and worry adding to his strength.

They rounded the corner to see Sean lying on the deck. As they ran up the steps they could see the blood pooling around him but Sean’s body was still.  Too still.

Dropping to their knees either side of their hero and lover Viggo felt for a pulse while Orlando took Sean’s cold fist into his hand.

“Vig please tell me he’s not …”

(TBC)