Fear and concern

Viggo and Orlando had been at the hospital for over six hours now. It had been a complete nightmare.  The fact that Sean was so far from home and had no immediate family with him seemed to cause immense problems and to begin with they had been at a loss for what to do. Viggo had called Peter in desperation at what was happening and told him about Sean. Within minutes, Peter and most of the people there for the cast reunion had turned up at the hospital. It had taken some doing but in time, ably assisted by Craig, Peter had managed to wriggle their ways around some of the red tape and a call to Sean’s parents in Sheffield had eventually succeeded in getting Viggo and Orlando accepted as the nearest thing Sean had to next of kin in New Zealand.  But things still were not working out properly and they were having to fight an obstructive and difficult doctor for every piece of information.  Every time they managed to get in to be with Sean, it seemed they were being thrown out again for one reason or another. The strain was beginning to tell on both of them.

Craig went to the counter in the hospital café and got them all yet more coffee, it wasn’t much but it was the only thing anyone could do for either of the two men.  He turned and looked back at the table where the ‘fellowship of the cast’ was sitting, trying to offer as much support to their two friends and each other as they could.  Craig’s eyes were automatically drawn to Viggo and Orlando, their worry and fear, written all over their faces, was so strong you could almost reach out and touch it... Orlando was sitting with his head resting on Viggo’s shoulder, one hand entwined with Viggo’s, the other twitching nervously on his leg.  The two had fallen into a worried silence now Their attempts to tell the hospital staff what they knew had all been brushed off by the officious and overbearing consultant who was assigned to Sean’s case and driving them all completely mad. The man was a tyrant and a bully and just would not listen; it was obvious that even the other doctors were wary of him.

Occasionally, Orlando would look up at Vig and whisper something to him and Viggo would either cuddle his young lover closer or whisper something back.  It was a heart rending sight, and Craig was becoming more and more frustrated with the hospital over the whole thing.

He carried the coffee tray back to the table and set it down.  It was now over three hours since anyone had been allowed to see Sean and well over two hours since they had heard anything at all.

Viggo and Orlando both thanked him for the coffee and continued to sit in silence. Their only real actions being the movement of Styrofoam cups between table and lips, and back again. Karl and Peter sat with them, along with Billy, John and Sean Astin.  Ian had taken Miranda, Liv, Elijah and Dom home to get some proper food and a little rest. Hugo, David, Marton and strangely Harry were on their way back.  Fran and Philippa were constantly on the phone from their post as feeders, carers and child minders, several of the cast having brought their families with them for what was supposed to have been a bit of a holiday, for everyone who could make it.

Another one of those whispered conversations passed between Orlando and Viggo. Suddenly they both stirred and got to their feet. Around the table all eyes were drawn to them, questioning eyebrows raised.

“Sorry.” Orlando said quietly “but I can’t stand this anymore.  I have to go see what is going on.”

“They said.” Sean A began, but stopped when Orlando raised his hand.

“I know what they said Sean, but we’ve been treated like shit, despite everything Pete and Craig have done, since we got here, and I don’t think that doctor intends giving us any information at all and… something is wrong here I know it.”  He turned to start walking towards the door.  “You coming Vig?”

“Of course.” Viggo followed Orlando out of the café.

“Go with them Craig please.” Peter said seeing the expression on Craig’s face, “just in case. They are both ‘gentle men’ in every sense of the word but their feelings for Sean may get the better of that gentleness and although I would not blame them in any way, we don’t need them getting chucked out of the hospital, and that idiot doctor would most definitely not hesitate to do something like that.  In fact, I think that he is just looking for an excuse, to be honest”

Craig nodded; he agreed entirely with what Peter said so he left the café and went towards the lifts.  Viggo and Orlando must have gotten one already as they were no where in sight. So Craig pressed the button and summoned a lift for himself, it wasn’t long in coming and he got in and selected Sean’s floor.  The lift bell pinged as it reached the correct destination.  As soon as the doors opened Craig could hear the commotion down the hall. Orlando was shouting and there were sounds of a struggle.  He rounded the corner at a run. Fortunately, the other lift arrived a few seconds later disgorging Harry, who had obviously just got back to the hospital and Karl.  Realising there was trouble; both were soon running down the corridor right behind Craig.  The scene as they reached the end of the corridor was dreadful. Viggo and Orlando were engaged in what seemed like a fight with three beefy hospital orderlies.  The door to Sean’s room was wide open and Craig could see why Viggo and Orlando were so riled up.  Sean was lying on the bed, his face bloodied and in a worse state than it had been when the ambulance had brought him in, indicating that there had obviously been a tussle of some sort involving him, and he was now lying on a stripped down hospital bed in restraints… full body restraints. Craig was appalled but he realised that there was nothing he could do for Sean at the moment.  At the moment it was Viggo and Orlando who needed his help.

There was an awful lot of shouting, Orlando was near hysterics and fighting with one of the orderlies and Viggo, who had obviously lost it when he saw Sean, was growling and battling with the other two.

“You bastards!”  Orlando was yelling.  “How could you do that to him after all he’s been through?”

Craig went for Orlando while Karl and fortunately Harry pulled Viggo to safety.  With Orlando safely in Craig’s arms and Viggo held securely by Karl it was Harry, using all of his impressive stature and gravelly voice, who demanded to know, what the hell was going on?

Suddenly, he was confronted by the equally impressive, if considerably less sexy figure, of the overbearing Dr Carmichael.

“What’s going on, sir,” he spat at Harry “is that not only have my staff been attacked by that raving maniac over there on the bed, they have now been attacked by his two equally insane pansy friends. If that’s ‘all’ they are, but strikes me there might be more to it than just friends, from their reactions.”  He turned a mean and a disdainful face in Viggo and Orlando’s direction.

“Sean wouldn’t hurt anyone.  He’s ill; he was unconscious when he came in. How could he attack anyone?” Orlando almost shouted through his sobs of desperation.  Craig hugged the young man tighter, feeling the trembling that was wracking the slender body.  Orlando’s face was a mask of fury and horror at what he and Viggo had found when they reached Sean’s room, but Craig was also aware that any kind of restraints or ties tended to spark Orlando’s worst memories of what had happened to him. Craig knew that it had left both Orlando and Viggo with a deep seated problem over being tied up, Viggo had once joked that it had meant some serious adjustments to the kinkier side of their sex life. It brought back too many memories of one being tied up while something bad happened to the other, or Sean.  And with their own recovery, although full, still so recent, Craig began to worry about what seeing Sean go through this might do to them.

“Well?”  Harry said, looking at the doctor with a less than pleasant expression on his face. Ok so the man was a homophobe, but Harry was certain there was more to it than that.

Carmichael was beginning to be a tiny bit intimidated. Harry could be very intimidating when he chose.

“He woke up.” He said

Orlando gasped.

Viggo growled “and you didn’t tell us. We were supposed to be told the minute there was any sign of him waking.  Why didn’t you tell us?”

Viggo started forward again his anger plain on his face. Karl tightened his grip on the American and fortunately succeeded in keeping him in close, and off the unfortunate doctor.

“There wasn’t time, the maniac attacked my orderlies.”

“He’s not a maniac; we keep trying to tell you.  He’s sick.” Orlando yelled again and again Craig tightened his hold.

“And what may I ask were they doing? And why orderlies and not nurses?” Harry asked again

“Just their jobs, just some tests.”

One of the regular nurses snorted. Carmichael turned to her with a threatening expression on his face and suddenly, Harry realised a little of what might have happened.

He had heard some of the accusations levelled at Sean, and knew that opinions were much divided in some quarters about Sean’s actions during the time he went to rescue Vig and Orli. How that could be completely baffled Harry?  In his eyes Sean Bean was a hero, first class, but Harry was aware enough to know that his opinion wasn’t shared by everyone. And there were some who refused to believe any of what had been reported about what had happened to Viggo and Orlando. Such people adhered to the idea that the truth was a whitewash to cover up Sean having killed three men in a fight in a wood somewhere in England.  The very idea was preposterous but Harry knew it was what some chose to believe. This was the downside of playing villains, in the extreme. Some people really couldn’t separate the role, from the gentle, quiet man who was such a first rate actor.  Harry realised that this doctors obvious prejudice towards a lot of things, it seemed, had meant that perhaps the handling of Sean, for the necessary tests, had probably been far rougher than it really should have been.  It didn’t take much to work out what had happened after that, with Sean in his present state of mind.  Harry decided it was best to get this out in front of witnesses.  If he was wrong it would prove no harm done, if he was right they had a case to make a complaint if nothing else. Also he wanted this out as much because he felt Viggo and Orlando needed to see what they were up against, as because this dick head in front of him needed to be exposed.

“Do you know who that is in there?” Harry growled at the doctor

Carmichael’s face twisted with what could only be described as hatred.

“Oh yeah I know.”  He almost snarled.  “I know who he is.  He’s a killer he should be locked up. He’s only not locked up because of who he is. The man in there is a monster who killed three innocent men in cold blood. I read the papers like anyone else, if my ‘staff’ were a bit rough handling him, then it was no more than he deserved.  If they couldn’t get him put away properly in England, I’ll damn well see to it that it happens here instead.  He’ll go down for assault at least, because patient or no, you may rest assured that I and my staff will most certainly be pressing charges.”

Dear God, Harry could not believe his ears.  Karl and Craig went white and both men felt their hands balling into fists as they held their friends. Jeeeeesus this couldn’t be real… could it? Could real human beings actually think like this? When they all thought of what Sean had been through, it was just beyond the pale that anyone could say what they had all just heard.  How did people manage to form such opinions? How could they deny the truth? And this guy was a doctor for God’s sake.

Viggo sagged in against Karl, if this was what Sean had faced every day since his trial then there was no wonder….

Orlando almost collapsed in Craig’s arms sobbing…

Suddenly, a female voice cut across the tableau.

“I don’t think anyone will be pressing charges at all doctor.” It said firmly.

“You can’t stop us Sheldon.” Carmichael was obviously too far gone to remember that he shouldn’t speak to his boss in such a way. “We can always press civil charges, and we will, believe me, we will.”

The woman sighed loudly.

“Doctor Carmichael, go to my office and wait for me there”

Suddenly it was as if Carmichael realised who he was talking to.

“Doctor Sheldon…” Carmichael protested “I really don’t…”

“Doctor! Go!  Now!” The voice wasn’t raised, but the intensity within it resulted in Carmichael backing off from Harry and beginning to walk away.

“Bloody movie star egos; think they can get away with anything, even murder.”  He said quietly, as he went off, but loud enough to ensure being heard.

Everyone held their breath as they watched the man walk down the corridor, and there was a collective sigh of relief when he turned the corner out of sight.

Viggo straightened himself in Karl’s arms, gently pulled himself free of his friend’s supportive embrace and went to Orlando, easing him from Craig’s embrace and into his own. Doctor Sheldon went across to the two men.

“Mr Mortensen, Mr Bloom, my name is Sheldon, Cynthia Sheldon.  I’m the head of Psychiatry here.  My profound apologies for what has occurred recently. I’m so sorry.  I have only just come on shift, or this would have been dealt with sooner.”

Viggo and Orlando both looked at the woman; neither of them seemed able to speak, so Viggo just nodded his acceptance of what was said.

“If you would like to sit with Mr Bean, while I go and ‘deal’ with my colleague. ‘I’ll join you shortly and we can discuss matters then.”

“Thank-you doctor.”  Viggo managed.

“Doctor the restraints.” Orlando whispered. “I can’t bear to see him like that, it’s worse than… than…”

The doctor nodded and signalled to one of the nurses who swiftly began unfastening the straps and buckles that held Sean to the bed and removing them completely.  Another man opened his mouth as if to object but Sheldon raised a hand.

“My decision Arthur, my responsibility.  I don’t think Mr Bean will be any kind of a problem, particularly not while his two friends are here with him.”

With that, she gestured Viggo and Orlando into the room and then turned on her heel and stalked away to her less than pleasant duty with her colleague.

Viggo and Orlando went into the room and took up station beside Sean.  They sat side by side each one holding one of Sean’s hands. Sean was totally unconscious, nothing moved … other than the lines on the monitors surrounding him.

“Oh Vig! What are we going to do?”  Orlando’s voice sounded almost broken in his anguish.

Viggo reached out with the hand that wasn’t holding Sean’s and stroked his young lover’s side.

“I don’t know, my Angel. I really don’t know. What I do know, is that he must have seen us in a similar condition and somehow he hung on, and was there when we came round and when we needed him, remember?”

Orlando nodded.

“We have to hang on like he did, Angel.  Hang on for him, so that we’re there when he wakes up, like he was for us.”

Orlando’s expression altered from pained hurt and worry to quiet determination at Viggo’s words. All it took to spark his determination was a gentle reminder of all that Sean had been through for them.  Sean had never given up, in spite of everything, not once had he ever given in to despair over them, and they were not going to give in over him, now.

Orlando took the hand that was stroking him into his free one and squeezed it gently, turning his gaze from Sean to Viggo just for a moment.  Their eyes met and mutual understanding and determination flashed once more between them.

“Love you Angel.”

“Love you too Vig.”

They returned their gazes back to Sean and whispered in unison.

“We love you, Sean.”

The figure on the bed remained silent and motionless.

It took Dr Sheldon less than half an hour to ‘deal’ with her colleague and then she was back, coming quietly into the room.

Viggo and Orlando both stood to face her as soon as they realised that she was there.

She motioned at them, “sit down both of you, please.”

They both sat back down in the two chairs, gazing expectantly at the woman doctor.

“Tell us something, please doctor.”  Viggo said. “We need to know.”

“I will, I’ll tell you everything I can, but first I need you to tell me what has been happening while you have been here in New Zealand, and also maybe some of what happened to yourselves. I know it won’t be easy and it will be painful, but if we are to stand any chance at all of helping Mr Bean, I need to know as much as possible.  I know what the papers and the news said about your ordeal, and Mr Bean’s, but I know nothing of how your remarkable recovery was achieved and very little of the part your friend played in that, and there may be some key facts in those events that we need to consider.  I would also value your thoughts and opinions”

Viggo and Orlando looked at each other again and nodded. Here at last was someone willing to listen to them.  They would do whatever it took regardless of what it cost them.

“Where do you want us to start?” Viggo asked.

“Lets start with the facts of what happened here in New Zealand and work backwards with your thoughts and observations on Mr Bean’s experiences and behaviour whilst here, and his part in your recovery and also I think we need to look at his recent trial. There is obviously a trigger for what is happening of some kind or other and I think we need to find it.

What she said seemed to make sense.  Both Orlando and Viggo realised that something had been wrong with Sean for a while, both from what he had said and the way he looked. Analysing the things he had told them and some of the events of recent months might add to the clues they already felt they had.

Quietly Viggo detailed all that had happened with Sean in New Zealand. He tried to remember as much as he could about what Sean had said about his feelings and what was happening to him. He carefully recounted the few little things that had seemed like clues that he had filed away in his own mind over the last forty eight hours. 

Orlando described the events of the previous evening and what Sean had said about himself. Fortunately he had the presence of mind to remember Sean’s comments about the judge at his trial.  Viggo finally ended with their own surprise at the reaction from Doctor Carmichael, but how they now realised that Sean must face reaction like that all the time, and that recently it seemed to be eating away at him.

Dr Sheldon tried not to display any overt reactions to anything that they said but it was obvious that she was taking it all in and sorting it through in her clever mind, and arriving at either a confirmation of what she already thought, or some other diagnosis. Like all doctors, she hmmd when they were done talking and paused to collect her thoughts before replying.

“Well although I may take very strong exception to the way they were done the results of the basic tests my colleague performed seem to agree with much of what you have said.”

Which is?” Viggo prompted.

“The mind is a strange thing Mr Mortensen. It is most of the time the most resilient part of the human body, but sometimes that resilience can be a problem in itself, and things that need to be dealt with surface in strange ways. I think your friend’s mind has entered a state of fugue about what happened when you were held hostage and what he had to do.  I am guessing here because we cannot really know this until he tells us, but the mind often takes sometimes, even the most minor event or phrase or question or accusation and makes it a trigger for memories that simply cycle over and over again until in the worst cases they either destroy the mind they inhabit or are dealt with. It seems that Mr Bean is exhibiting signs of having an extreme form of such a fugue state, where the mind effectively descends into the fugue so deeply it effectively shuts down the consciousness to dedicate itself solely to the memories.

Viggo and Orlando both looked at the doctor stricken.  Now they understood some of the events that had occurred over the last couple of days or so. It was frightening to think that Sean’s own mind was closing down his consciousness to concentrate on the horrific events of two years ago.

“You mean Sean could go mad?”  Orlando whispered.

“Well I think we are a long way from that at present and anyway he has you two.” The doctor tried to be reassuring.

I think that in Mr Bean’s case, comments by someone, possibly the judge, about him being dangerous etc are either a part of, or the entire trigger. Either he remembers them himself and triggers other memories or someone else says something that acts in the same way.

“And the attack on the staff here?”  Viggo queried.

Sheer malice on my colleague’s part, I’m sorry to say. Carmichael guessed what might happen, a physical trigger can act the same as a mental one, only it triggers the behaviour along with the memories, the patient literally acts out what happened instead of just remembering it. And in his prejudice told his staff to be rough, knowing that if he was right Mr Bean would react in just the way he did, the rough handling acting as a physical trigger for the fugue memories of fighting for both his and your lives.  Needless to say, there will be no pressing of any kind of charges criminal or civil, unless Mr Bean himself decides to press charges against Carmichael, which the hospital would not oppose.

The doctor paused obviously uncomfortable about what had happened.

“I have to admit that I really do hope that Mr Bean was truly unconscious during my colleague’s further outburst earlier, or I fear his stay in hospital so far could have done him more harm than good.

“He heard” said a cracked voice form the bed.

All three turned to Sean in shocked surprise, Viggo and Orlando reaching for him.

“He was right.”  Sean went on in the same cracked tone that tore right through Viggo and Orlando.

“They were all right.”

The voice dropped to a hoarse whisper.

“I am a dangerous man…” Sean’s head began to move from side to side on the pillow.

“Dangerous man…” He began to seriously thrash around on the bed.  Viggo and Orlando tried to restrain him gently.

“Dangerous man…”

The repetitions went on and on Sean’s voice getting quieter and quieter and his movement’s weaker and weaker, till with a sigh on the last phrase Sean slipped back into stillness and unconsciousness.

Sitting outside the room, anxiously waiting for news other members of the cast now at the hospital heard Orlando’s anguished wail

“Noooooooooooo Seanie! NO!” and with that, the distressed young man launched himself on to the bed hugging Sean to him, as the hot anguished tears finally fell down both his and Viggo’s faces.

(TBC)