Something you have to do.

Viggo stretched out on the floor and leaned back against the couch that Orlando was still lying on.  The dog had come and lain beside him and Viggo was gently stroking her silky fur.

God he’s so beautiful! Orlando thought as he gazed at Viggo.  Carefully he let his gaze travel slowly along the full length of Viggo’s still naked body. Carefully he committed every line, every plane, every tone, every angle, every shade to memory.  His face reflected the deep, deep, bone shattering sorrow he felt at what he was about to do next. He drew a deep breath.

“Vig?”

“Yeah.”

“Can I ask you a question?”

“You know you can ask me anything, anytime Angel.”

Viggo’s use of his pet name was like a knife in Orlando’s flesh, but he controlled himself and ploughed on.

“Vig do you ever think that there comes a time when no matter how wonderful and beautiful something is and no matter how much you want something to go on and on and last forever that you ………… well that you just have to bring it to an end.?”

Viggo swallowed hard, his breath hitching in his throat. This was the moment he had dreaded coming for the last five years.

“Yeah Angel I do.”

Orlando sighed and sat up.

“Vig I’m sor……….”

Viggo turned and knelt up facing Orlando.  He reached out and placed a gentle finger over Orlando’s lips.

“Shh” he whispered.  “Don’t say anymore love …….. I know.

He knelt a little longer, looking deep into Orlando’s sad brown eyes.  The look he gave Orlando held such tender love and understanding that Orlando couldn’t stop the tears spilling down his cheeks.  Viggo gently brushed his lips over Orlando's and then stood up, picked up his sweats and t-shirt and walked into his studio.

He stood gazing out of his studio window fighting back the tears.  He could hear the noise of cupboards and drawers opening upstairs.  Orlando was packing.  His Angel was finally leaving for good. He tried to think of what he would do when Orlando was gone. That was a stupid line of thought anyway … he would do the only thing he could do.

There was a quiet knock at the door before it opened and Orlando stepped in. Through the open door Viggo could see a couple of bulging rucksacks in the hall.

“Vig?” Orlando said quietly the tears falling in earnest now.  “I’ll go now. I’ll get the rest of my stuff later … sometime.”

“Ok” Viggo still managed to control his own tears.

“Will you be ok Vig?”  Orlando asked.  “Oh sorry stupid question”  Orlando wanted to kick himself he’d just ripped the guts out of Viggo’s life and now wanted to know if he was gonna be ok – well what do you think Bloom?

“I’ll be ok Angel.”  There was that knife again.

Orlando nodded and stepped closer to the man he had loved and shared his life with for the last five years. The man he still loved if he was honest. God he hated this industry right now.  Hated his career and the sacrifices he had to make for it. Hated himself. He reached out a hand and then let it fall.

“Vig I really am sor ………”

Again Viggo silenced him, this time by pulling him into his arms for one final tender kiss.

“Be happy Angel.”

Orlando couldn’t respond, he just walked to the door and turned to look at Viggo one more time.

“Take care Vig please” and with that he turned and picked up the rucksacks.

Viggo heard the front door close quietly.  Only then did he give in to his trembling legs and sink to the studio floor, sobbing uncontrollably.

He had known somehow.  Something in the way they had made love that afternoon quietly, tenderly, something had told him it was the last time. Part of him had wanted to beg Orlando not to do this, beg him to stay and eat the special dinner Viggo had the ingredients for in the fridge, stupid to think about food at a time like this, what did a few dollars worth of food matter. Beg him not to end the best, most precious part of Viggo’s life, besides Henry. But somehow he had realised that begging wouldn’t have made any difference, just made the whole thing harder ……. for both of them.  For Viggo, being Viggo, realised that Orlando was suffering too, in spite of what he had just done.  The tears flowed like rivers down his face.

He wasn’t sure how long he had sat sobbing in the studio.  He just realised when he looked up that it was dark.  Still crying Viggo dragged himself up and stumbled into the big room. He avoided looking at the couch, while he fumbled about looking for the phone. Tears and clutter making it a more difficult task.  He finally found it under a cushion.  Sinking to the floor again he did the only thing he could, the only thing that made any sense now.  He pressed the speed dial button on the phone.  Time zones didn’t matter for this he knew that. The phone was answered on the second ring.

“Hello” a welcome familiar voice.

“Sean” Viggo managed before a fresh wave of sobbing overtook him.

“Oh luv” Sean’s response immediate and heartfelt.

There was no need for Viggo to explain Sean knew and understood. Sean always knew and understood.

“I’ll be there in the morning luv” Sean said softly.

And Viggo knew he would be.

“Thanks Sean” he whispered and shut off the phone.

(TBC)